I agree with you here, but I do think there's a middle ground. For example, you could stick the RAM into a tester before putting it into the RaQ, or you could require that it is purchased from a particular vendor and the customer must send along a copy of the receipt as proof. If you had proof that this stick came from, say, Crucial, would you accept it then? Just curious.
If it was my server I would insist that I sourced the memory upgrade - that way you can be near 100% sure it will work first time and therefore give a standard cost for the job.
If someone wanted to put their RAM in a server I owned (apart from I would not do it) the quoted install cost would probably be a lot higher due to the increased risk / possibility it will fail and take a lot longer to sort out etc.
At the end of the day - what we are disussing boils down to the "cost" for 512Mb RAM (2 x 256Mb modules) for a RAQ is about UK£60-70 (US$90-100) - I would expect a host to make some money on-top-of that plus charge for fitting so a total charge of UK£120-140 (US$180-200) would be "reasonable". Plus of course they would get the 64Mb or 128Mb module back (as the RAQ's only have 2 memory slots) :))
What seems "unreasonable" is to charge an increased monthly fee (that is very expensive considered over just one year!) for something that is a one-off cost.
Lastly - with hardware prices (especially RAM) as low as it is now it hardly makes buying second hand worthwhile - I am sure I remember a time when a 1Mb SIMM was UK£30+ - now 256Mb is less than UK£30!
Thanks...