[cobalt-users] Completely OT: Thank you all

["Carrie Bartkowiak" <admin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Hey, here's something you don't see everyday.

Thanks everyone for your help. I know my posts can get weird sometimes (and
are always too long), but someone always takes time to give it a good stab.
Sometimes I get busy applying the solution or researching something new and
forget to say thank you.

I'd like to especially thank everyone for their support during the recent
debacle dealing with *that host*. I was literally floored, and so humbled by
everyone's response in my defense. It means a great deal to me.

I've been watching you guys tearing each other apart, and here's my take on
it (as if anyone asked for my opinion):
We've all got incredibly stressful lives these days. Whether we're at home
dealing with kids *and* clients (such as myself, and I just helped start a
new DSL corporation so working on that too), or at work dealing with ID10T
errors, or both (my sincere condolences to those of you who run IT Support
at work then come home to try to be a family-person and still do your own
business - I feel for ya), or even if you're just kinda hanging out and
browsing this list as a hobby or to help where you can...
We're still stressed out to the max. We've all got our own issues, sometimes
what seems to be insurmountable ones, that we have to deal with. Sometimes
we just need to blow off steam, and sometimes we snap back too fast without
thinking because our tempers are short.
Maybe it's not that we need to cut each other a break, but we need to cut
*ourselves* a break.

If you're having a hard day, dump that day's list posts and go outside. The
world isn't going to fall down if you don't respond to someone's question -
there are hundreds of other people here who will respond in your stead. That
person *will* get help.  You *are* allowed to take a break.
Think about it. We spend all day eyebrow-deep in this stuff and then come
home and keep doing it. We must be crazy. :) There are
wives/hubbies/kids/friends to spend time with and unwind - people who need
your presence far more than this list does. I see some of you guys
responding to nearly every post and sometimes I think - "Doesn't this guy
ever sleep?" No wonder we're so crabby, eh?

The rise of technology and the internet has been a fantastic advance for
communication, but (IMHO) it's been a major blow dealt to simple community.
Real, person-to-person community. Instantly we can tell who's calling before
we pick up the phone. Instantly we can hit a button on our Nextels and annoy
someone on the other end - don't even have to dial a number. Instantly we
can buy something and have it on its way to our house. Instantly we can hit
a chat room and discuss whatever we want to. We can hit a few buttons and
instantly have the latest movie piped into our house - no need to even drive
to the video store. We can instantly do our banking online, our bill-paying
online. And it just keeps going.
And instantly we can pound out a knee-jerk response to someone on this list
before we've had time to really *think* about what they're saying, or what
we're saying, or what impact it's going to have.
Everything's instantaneous, it's got to be done NOW, it's got to get here
NOW, and if it can't be done with the push of a button and no human
interaction, we move on to some other service that is "automated for our
convenience".
Can you see how stressful that is?

This great medium that was supposed to bring us all together has served to
really tear us apart and isolate us. When was the last time you talked to
your neighbor? Do you even know your neighbor's name? When was the last time
you went to the movies with a group of friends, or just went and sat
somewhere and watched the people rush by? How often do you interact with a
*real* person in your daily errands (banking, grocery shopping, etc.)? When
was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter by hand? When was the last
time you came home and left the computer off *all night long* and simply
enjoyed a nice drink with your wife talking about what's going on in the
world?

I'm just saying that these computers, and this internet, is not the end-all
be-all of our existence, and in most cases, we've forgotten that. Real
people that you communicate with offline will always be far more important
to your *life* than anything you're gonna do online... so give yourself a
break. If you see something that prompts you to fire off a smart-ass
response, just delete it. No use in getting your blood pressure up. If you
see a question asked for the 15thousandth time and you want to scream,
scream! Then shut the computer off and go do something having to do with
your *life*.
We might be computer gurus (whatever flavor), but we're people first. And as
simple human beings, we need simple human interaction. When we don't get
enough of that, we start turning into crabby old hermits with short tempers
and bad attitudes. :)
Just give yourselves a break once in a while, guys. You can help the people
on this list a LOT more when you're relaxed and in a good mood. Don't ya
think?

I know someone in crabby-hermit-mode is thinking "Oh yeah? Who made you
god?"
Nobody. But I've got a *tad bit* (cough) of experience with this happening
with online communities. And I'm damn sure there are others on the list with
more experience, I'm not saying this in order to get into a pissing match
about who's more qualified. So I won't even go into what my experience might
be. If you want to know more about me or what I do, you can check out one of
my sites:
www.carriebartkowiak.com
(Neither offer services or hosting or whatever, it's just a personal site
about yours truly. Warning: my political rants could turn your hair white.)

And yes, I do need to practice what I preach - I try to, but sometimes I get
caught up and get back into that rut where if I'm not staring at this
screen, I must be asleep. (I do *all* of my work-at-home-mom business online
so I've gotta be in front of this screen programming or being a web host or
whatever in order to make a buck.) But I do eventually realize it's happened
again, and pull myself out of the computer and back into my life for a
little while.

You guys give FANTASTIC advice. To both seasoned gurus and newbies that are
wet behind the ears.  It's invaluable. If you find yourself snapping back
curt responses (noise) more lately than giving actual help (signal), maybe
you should take a few days off and come back to us when you're feeling more
like yourself... more... human.  :)
We've got a great community here that I for one am REALLY grateful for, and
I just hate watching you guys tearing yourselves and each other apart.

Carrie Bartkowiak
(No response required, just hoping you'll read this; take what does ya good,
and leave the rest behind.)