RE: [cobalt-users] Qube Discussions - Off Topic

["David Mitchell" <dnm@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>]

You reminded me of a recipe I saw for a "proper English cup
of tea".  It may not be CBI compliant, but it is quite serious
about certain points, especially NOT BOILING THE WATER and NOT
HASSLING THE BAG!

Enjoy,

David Mitchell

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The Englishman's Guide to a Proper Cup of Tea - Abridged.

Chapter 15.
How to make tea without a pot and no fresh leaves.

1. Don't bother.

2. If you must here's how to make a mug of tea with a teabag.
(Note the term 'mug' as the following methods can never make a proper _cup_
of tea)

2a. Heating The Water.
First fill your urn...
...
2j. Urnless Method.
The most important thing to remember is not to boil the water. Hence a
preference for a thermostatically controlled urn that can be set to below
100C. 'Catching' the water is trickier with a kettle but can be achieved.
You must turn off the kettle before the water boils. A few bubbles around
the edge is acceptable. Waiting until the bubbling goes quiet is probably to
late as the water is now in the phase change before boiling. It will
probably boil after the power is removed. One could invest in a thermometer,
however with time you will come to know your kettle and it's ways. Beware
the modern, so-called, speed kettles. These heat so quickly and powerfully
it is near impossible to get a high temperature without boiling. In any case
if the water boils then throw it away and start again.

3. Mug preparation.
The mug should be pre-warmed. The water from your hot water supply will
suffice for this. It has been heard that a microwave would also perform this
service. However it is unlikely a proper kitchen has one of these modern
devices. A warm mug will prevent excessive cooling. Especially relevant due
to it's larger heat capacity compared with porcelain.

4. Choice of Bag
This is really up to the individual. There is a great variety on sale, even
in a supermarket. However it must be remembered that without a pot you are
always making imperfect tea. So perhaps experiment with some of the cheaper
brands. Although plainly a brash marketing gimmick, the 'pyramid' shape of
Brooke Bond's PG Tips does appear successful. Certainly it offers a tangible
improvement over the square bags. Whereas round bags are inferior due to
less volume within the 'cloth'.

5. Choice of Milk
Again personal taste. Purists will always go for full fat and, rightly,
fully-skimmed cannot be recommended. However it is agreed that in this diet
conscious age semi-skimmed milk is acceptable. Indeed it makes a very good
cup of tea for those who prefer less cream on the palate.

6. Beginning the Tea
Place the bag in the mug and pour the water on top. It really is that
simple. Of course after carefully following step 2j you must not let the
water cool. It must be poured as soon as it is ready. Never re-heat the
water. If it is too cool discard the water and begin again. It may be found
effective to 'aim' the water at the bag. This will open up the tea bag.
Thereby allowing greater movement for the leaves. The mug should be filled
full i.e. around 1.0cm from the brim.

7. 'Don't Hassle The Bag'
Indeed, don't hassle the bag. This mantra should be remembered at all times.
Fiddling with the bag is tempting to the beginner and observed in many tea
makers who should know better. Any prodding, poking and squeezing of the bag
during brewing will result in a severe marring of flavour - introducing
bitter and unsavoury overtones. Remember 'Don't Hassle The Bag'.

8. The Brew
A couple of minutes is generally all that is required. Precise timing
depends on the tea itself and also on the strength required. As ever
experience will guide you. When ready remove the bag. A single squeeze with
teaspoon against the side of mug is permissible at this stage. However
experienced brewers may frown on this exercise. Certainly never squeeze it
'dry'. That said the flavour may be more to your liking with a small final
squeeze.

9. The Milk
Now add the milk. Generally the volume vacated by the tea bag will be
sufficient for the required quantity of milk. Hence the level in the mug
will be restored. At this stage it already possible to gauge the quality of
your mug of tea. It should be a smooth beige tea colour. Too white or too
watery indicates the wrong quantity of milk. Too dark and the tea may be too
strong. However in all cases this is dictated by the particular tea. Earl
Grey will naturally, and correctly, be lighter; whereas Yorkshire Tea errs
on the dark side. For the record when making a mug of tea the milk always
goes in last. This is the exact opposite to the cup when making a pot of tea
and hence some brewers get it wrong. Milk in first will coat the tea in the
bag reducing its diffusion capabilities. The milk itself gets 'shocked' by
the hot water. This will simultaneously malflavour the milk and lower the
temperature of the water thus impairing the brewing process further.

10. Scum and the Reduction Thereof.
A scum on the surface is indicative of hard water or brewing for too long.
The later is inexcusable, however the effects of hard water can be
alleviated. Aiming the water at the bag (described earlier) will quicken the
brewing process. This gives less time for a scum to form. Experiment with
different brands of the same type of tea. In particular Sainsbury's own
blend of Earl Grey is particularly good with the hard water of London where
other, more expensive, Earl Greys fail.

11. Sugar
Add sugar to taste. Now whilst the author refuses any sugar in his tea it is
accepted that some may prefer a sweeter drink. Two spoonfuls is really too
sweet. More than two suggests an impaired sense of taste. There is an
exception to this. When an individual is in severe shock, through personal
injury perhaps, there is no first aid more reviving than an excessively
sweet cup of tea.

11. Enjoy your Tea
You now have a mug of tea acceptable to drink. Given all the limitations it
isn't half bad. It will wake you up in the morning. Bring colleagues
together at elevenses. Aid digestion at lunch. Complement your slice or
fancy at four. Welcome you home at six. Then drift you into the land of nod
after supper. Surely the eighth wonder of the civilised world.

Remember 'Don't Hassle The Bag'

Thanks must go to the many souls who have assisted in the formulation of the
above process. Double blind testing techniques were used to prove its
efficacy. This naturally meant that many were subjected to frankly appalling
concoctions. However in the interests of 'good tea' all persevered
heroically. Of course even the worst affected souls were soon revived with a
good cup of tea.

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> -----Original Message-----
> From: cobalt-users-admin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> [mailto:cobalt-users-admin@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]On Behalf Of Dom Latter
> Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2000 12:03 PM
> To: cobalt-users@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Subject: Re: [cobalt-users] Qube Discussions
>
> >
> > ***SNIP***
> >
> This then leads on to a lot of stuff that is often not Cobalt-
> specific at all, but to do with the Internet, DNS, etc...
>
> [Off Topic]
>
> How To Make A Decent Cup Of Tea:
>
> - Empty the kettle
> - Fill with cold fresh water
> - *warm* the teapot with water from the kettle as it approaches the boil
> - empty the teapot
> - add loose tea (one teaspoon per person and "one for the pot")
> - pour in boiling (and I mean *boiling*) water
> - stir
> - wait a bit.
>
> The above Common Beverage Interface script should work with most
> kitchen appliances.
>
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